Deck the Halls

The Rainbow Serpent, DTG 2497.07.04:0800.53

Two hours into his shift, Erik’s datpad gave off the soft but insistent bing bing of an incoming text. He’d been returning from his first routine maintenance check of the day, using the access walkways that riddled the insides of the space ship like a system of caves. He wondered what was wrong. He didn’t think it was anything he was in charge of. Everything onboard had seemed to be in perfect order when he’d looked and none of the alarms he had rigged to the essential equipment had gone off. He decided he best make sure that was the case and stopped to check his messages.

His datpad, once freed from the pocket on his left sleeve, popped open with a quick snap of his wrist and ceased its beeping. The text on its screen was simple and jovial.

“On this day of days, give your Tech a raise.”

It had to be from one of the other Techs running around on the ship. Only they were wired so loosely in the head as to actually think up and implement such a text. The Techs were what kept the ships running smoothly but they weren’t known for being the most stable of people.

What’s more, it would have to have been done by either the MechTechs or the DigiTechs. There was only one MagiTech on this ship and she was so narrow-minded, he could never place this sort of prank on her. It wasn’t that he thought little of her, only that she was so focused on her field of expertise that she rarely worked on anything outside of it. Sending silly texts over the datpad network of the Rainbow Serpent was most definitely outside her focus.

So it had to have been one of the other two forms of Tech onboard though Erik leaned more towards DigiTech. It seemed the sort of thing they’d excel at. They had both the knowledge and the mischievousness to pull it off. Not that a MechTech would pass up the opportunity to have a little fun at the crew’s expense but this text just did not seem their style.

Erik snorted, amused despite himself. He tended to avoid most of the other Techs aboard as he wasn’t good Tech material himself and had problems dealing with their stranger natures. A few minutes in their presence and he was holding back the urge to throttle them into silence.

Putting away his datpad, Erik continued down the access walkway he’d been on. The end of the walkway opened up into the main Control Port of the ship. This was by no means the bridge where the captain and his ilk could be found, more the secret lair of the ship’s social rejects. No pilot or commie had ever graced these sacred grounds with their vanity, though the security officers spent more time in the port than they felt was safe for their collective sanity.

Two MechTechs, four DigiTechs, and one MagiTech called this room home. Here they controlled the status of the ships functions, much like the engineering bays featured in vids from the old ages. Glowing consoles lined the walls between the evenly spaced access walkways and thick cables ran along every available flat surface, a jungle of metal and circuits. One bank of consoles had a makeshift sofa – made out of castoff cushions and overturned crates – lined up in front of it. The smell of mechanical grease and the low hum of electronics filled the air. Little reminders had been left so as to remind anyone brave enough to enter just who the room belonged to. Whatever wall space was left was filled with text, a casualty of a Tech missing a datpad or just having a case of urgent creativity. Figurines of all shapes and materials decorated the room: some hanging from the ceiling in simulation of free fall, some fought an imaginary war atop the consoles, and still more were peeking out warily from hidden niches about the room.

The Port was as it should be, if one left out the missing Techs.

Lieutenant Caroline Nancy was nowhere to be seen, her job as MagiTech not requiring her constant physical presence in the room. Being on the ship was enough to keep it safe. Besides her expected absence, there should have been two DigiTechs on shift. Despite their other-world-ness, there was always at least one of the DigiTechs in the Port while the other on shift made the standard maintenance rounds. Yet the one was gone as well, the room suspiciously quiet.

Erik stepped out of the walkway, ignoring the way his boot came down on something that was definitely not a cable and that crunched in a most satisfying way. It was most likely one of Tracy’s figurines and Tracy had many, many more to replace any broken. Besides, Erik had a grudge against the annoying things that carried over from finding them stalking him on a regular basis. Finding little girl-like dolls watching him from his showerhead and waking to a snarling monster dangling over his head had sealed his hatred of them. If Tracy didn’t want them broken, he really should learn to pick them up when he was done playing with them.

“Hey!” a voice whined from within one of the access walkways. A few seconds later, Tracy Van Buren himself came tromping out of the tunnel, hopping over cables and figurines alike to reach the side of the crushed toy. His bottom lip was stuck out in a pout as he scooped the remains into his arms and hugged them to his skinny chest.

Erik sat down on the couch and smirked at the distressed DigiTech. He got as much entertainment out of upsetting Tracy as Tracy got out of irritating Erik. At the moment, Erik was sure he was ahead in the game but that could change at any time in the never-ending cycle of prank and revenge.

Tracy was the spearhead of any venture the DigiTechs set themselves on. Despite being the youngest on the ship, he was brilliant in his chosen field and had a creative knack that allowed him more range of mental motion than any of the other three could boast. He’d come to the Rainbow Serpent on high recommendations and had proven right off that he belonged. The Rainbow Serpent wasn’t the most visible ship in the fleet but it was one of the best with a handpicked crew and some of the most adaptable Techs in the quadrant on board.

Just taking one step onto this ship was enough to say you were someone special.

Even with the constant pranks and creepy dolls, Tracy made himself shine nearly every day. Or maybe it was because of them. Erik had been working in the Control Port long enough with the star DigiTech to realize that most of what he did was due to sheer boredom.

“You killed it.” Tracy grumbled, spearing Erik with a dark scowl. Sure enough, a plastic tail and bits of what looked like a gaping maw were left behind on the floor. That was one monstrous beast that wouldn’t be found hiding amongst Erik’s underwear anytime soon.

Erik dug out his datpad again and flashed a grin at the DigiTech. It wasn’t a nice look by any stretch of the imagination and he knew it. Erik’s mother had always said he had a face like a bulldog, boxy and rough. Smiles from him were more of a baring of teeth, the sort of thing children saw in their nightmares.

In contrast, the DigiTech’s appearance was soft. His face was thin but still childishly rounded. Soft blond fuzz dusted his jaw line, Tracy’s pride and joy though he was an embarrassing twenty-four years old. His eyes were the color of a good dark honey. Tracy also followed the lack of discipline present in any good DigiTech and refused to keep his hair in the regulation buzz cut. Instead, his blond hair flopped haphazardly into his face. His small button nose gave an impish impression but the full pink lips underneath more than made up for it.

Erik on the other hand was thickly built considering he was two inches shorter than Tracy’s five-nine. However, he took pride in the fact that it was mostly muscle. Spending his days fighting with recalcitrant equipment kept his body toned. As for keeping in regulations, he went a step further and shaved his head completely. Much as that look didn’t agree with the majority of people in the universe, Erik thought it looked good on him, especially since his hair just ended up looking like a scrub brush and his clear dark skin looked better.

“Seriously, yo.” Tracy said, standing and coming to a stop at Erik’s feet. “That’s the forty-third one. You need to start fucking paying me for these.”

“Oh, pish,” another voice drifted from the access walkway Tracy had bounded out of. The voice was like mist and would have been sexy as sin if it weren’t so hard to distinguish if it was a man or woman speaking. “Where do you get these mad ideas of yours, Trace?”

Tracy ran red in the face and ears. His embarrassment didn’t stop him from shouting out a “Don’t call me that!”

The answering smoky chuckle was followed by a small female Gadrinian sidling out of the accessway. Her race was renowned for their technological proficiency, though they typically stayed within the communications field.

Hyrfl was as much of an oddity to her own people as Tracy was to his. Her hair was sheered short – the exact opposite of Tracy’s – and colored a delightful neon pink. She had also added intricate scrolling lines of ink to her smooth gray skin. Today the ink was brilliant blue but it was in a constant state of modification depending on Hyrfl’s whim. Her wide fin-like ears were tattered artfully and dripped with slim chains and tinkling jewels. Gadrinians might have had origins much like Earth’s salamanders but Hyrfl did everything she could to distance herself from that life. In Erik’s opinion, she was doing a wonder of a job.

She smiled at Tracy, her milky blue eyes twinkling. “Oh-ho! It’s Alex today, is it? Or is this just another diversion so that I won’t remember you owe me all those credits from those sweets I bought you?”

Tracy scowled at his partner DigiTech and folded his arms across his chest sternly, the battered figurine clutched in one hand. “It’s Alex every day; I told you Tracy is a girl’s name, yo.” It was an old argument with him. He insisted on a regular basis that he be called by his middle name, though no one did. “And I do not owe you for the candy. You gave them to me as a gift. When you came back from home, yo.”

“They can’t be a gift if you ask for them first. Gifts are spontaneous.” Hyrfl said, her expression droll. For a woman with no facial hair, she could do an awfully good impression of raised eyebrows.

Erik snorted and returned to his datpad. The antics of his two DigiTechs were a daily show. The best kind of show as it would never have reruns. “Gifts don’t have rules, Hyrfl. If he was being a total ass, he could give you his socks as a birthday present.”

“Oo! The ones with the yellow and green stripes? I’d like those.”

The younger DigiTech looked appalled at his friend’s outburst. “That’s – ew. Erik.” Tracy turned his back on his friend with a shudder and focused on the MechTech slouched in the sofa cushions. He opened his mouth –undoubtedly to bitch some more about his broken toys –when the computers emitted a mellow bong.

Practical DigiTech that she was, Hyrfl had rigged the Port monitors to her datpad. A few commands tapped out on the pad attached to her wrist brought up the scowling faces of three security officers on the biggest screen in the room. Lieutenants Carson Dew, Beck Louis, and Daryl Hue were as much a constant in the Port as the inhabitant Techs themselves.

“Huey, Dewey, and Luey!” Tracy chortled, his grin wide as he hid the maimed doll behind his back. “Haven’t seen you three in ages! To what do we owe this honor?”

In ages was the end of last week, when the security had been on orders to escort the trickster DigiTech to and from his quarters. Second mate Commander Wescott had insisted that Tracy had to complete a full week of lock down. Seemed the man hadn’t much appreciated his door singing, “heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s off to work I go,” every time it opened. He also hadn’t liked that his food dispenser only made the ship’s version of frozen yogurt—a slushy affair with too much sugar included—in order to “sweeten his nature,” as Tracy put it. During that time, Tracy had only been allowed between his room and the Port in an attempt to curb the trouble.

Erik didn’t have the heart to tell the Second that Tracy had hacked into the computer system his first day aboard and didn’t need to be in physical contact with the equipment to mess with it. It was safer for the poor man’s peace of mind this way.

The ranking security officer, Louis, was practically vibrating with frustration. “Which one of you did it?”

Both DigiTechs smiled sweetly, a look that might have spoke of innocence on any one else but them.

“Done what, yo?” Tracy said, his smile not budging an inch.

“We’ve been in here all night.” Hyrfl added in her most girlish voice. It came out sounding like a man speaking in falsetto.

Erik bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from laughing. Calling either of the pair a good liar would be like saying space wasn’t cold.

“I doubt that.” Hue, the calmest of the trio, muttered, the computer just picking up the soft tones. Dew only grunted and shook his head.

“Get them back to their rooms before they do anything else.” Erik could hear Wescott grinding his teeth in the background. It was a miracle he wasn’t barreling down the access walkways himself to take Tracy into custody, whatever it was the resourceful DigiTech had done.

“Right away, sir.” Louis and Hue snapped to attention and disappeared from the screen.

Erik hid a grin behind his datpad, trying his best to school his voice into something approaching solemn before he spoke. He didn’t want in on any sort of punishment the DigiTechs had gotten themselves into. “What is it that they did, sir?”

“What didn’t they do!” The Second roared. Still on screen, Dew winced at the force of Wescott’s anger. The screen flickered black for a half-second and came back displaying the bridge of the Rainbow Serpent. Most of the crew was only just coming on shift, slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

And what a wonder it was.

Red and green banners hung from the ceiling stating ridiculous things like “I’ve decked the halls with my gay apparel” and “the stockings are hung by the airlock with care; I’ve been wearing them for months and they need the air.” The comm seat was covered in silver and gold streamers and the pilots’ chairs had handmade snowflake chains draped over them. Though, where they had found the paper to make snowflakes, Erik didn’t know.

The Captain’s chair was decorated with colorful aluminum balls and strings of blinking lights and a star glowing bright from the top. A neatly printed sign hung from one armrest declaring that “a chair does not a good tree make.”

Erik lost the battle with his sense of humor and had to turn his back on the monitors while he laughed.

Wescott’s warning growl came over the monitors. “I hear that, Spencer.”

“Sorry, sir.” Erik said in what he hoped was a contrite tone. “I suppose it’s some sort of tradition for today?”

That didn’t seem to calm the Second in the least. “It’s July, Spencer. July, do you hear me? There are no holidays in July.” A sigh, “Why do I bother?” The link went dead and the screen blank, leaving the Techs alone to laugh until their heart’s content.

Or at least until the security officers arrived to drag the DigiTechs away for another bout of lock down.

*~*~*

DTG 2497.07.04:1721.45

Erik rubbed his face wearily as he entered his quarters. After the twin terrors had been taken away, the rest of the day had been boring. Nothing was breaking and no one had needed an extra pair of hands for work. He’d instead spent hours making random baubles out of bits of things he’d found lying around the Port. It was the sort of thing he could do in his sleep and it had offered very little in the way of entertainment value at all.

“For a Tech, your locks suck space monkey balls.”

The MechTech whirled to stare at Tracy sitting calmly on his bed. He wasn’t really sure why he was surprised as the idiot had broken into Erik’s quarter’s countless times before to plant his figurines.

“I wish you would stop doing that. I’m fairly certain I remember asking you to at least wait until I’m home before coming over.” He’d long ago given up on keeping Tracy out. Trying to do so was a futile effort at best, a destructive one otherwise. Instead, he had rules. Not that Tracy ever followed them but still. It was the principle of the matter.

Golden brown eyes followed him as he sat at his desk and removed the heavy steel-toed boots he wore to shift. Boots such as the ones the MechTech wore weren’t common issue these days to space crews but they were worth every last credit he’d paid for them. They kept the fragile toes within protected when heavy machinery or tools fell on them or when stubborn equipment needed a good kick to move it along.

“I was bored.” Tracy finally said his tone just this side of whiny. He flopped backwards onto the bed with a loud groan. “Commander Pus-cock had them take away my babies.”

Erik flicked him a glance as he set his boots aside and started to empty the pockets of his Tech jumper. His uniform only differed from the DigiTech one in the equipment it carried and the stains it acquired. In fact, due to the wear on the fabric and the stains they accumulated, MechTech uniforms had to be replaced three times as often as the DigiTechs’ and a MechTech wasn’t given a bigger clothing allowance on which to accomplish this with. Erik had to take especially good care of his jumpers if he wanted them to last for any decent amount of time. He spent much more time than he wanted making sure they were clean and mended at the end of every shift.

Although, given Tracy’s presence in the room, he didn’t think there would be any mending going on for awhile.

“You should show more sympathy, yo. It’s all your fault anyhow.” Tracy grumbled. He was staring at the picture of Erik’s favorite zero g ball team, the Drakons, affixed to the wall above the headboard.

“My fault, huh? How did this become my fault?”

The DigiTech rolled his head to look at Erik. “Wasn’t it you who was bitching about having to spend July Christmas in the middle of space around a bunch of people who don’t know what the fuck it is?” Those light colored eyes went back to staring at the picture.

Erik only blinked in surprise. He hadn’t been aware Tracy had even heard his complaint much less been able to remember it for the whole month that it had been since he’d mentioned it. Most of the time when he talked about home, Tracy turned a deaf ear or forgot about it entirely.

“I had to ask the lovely Miss Caroline what it was and it took me all month to pay her off for the information. And the paper? How many credits and favors do you think it took to get that? Also, I would like to mention that the ship’s computer needs a serious update. There’s all kinds of information on the main systems and their governments and yet not a damn thing on holidays from bumfucked stations like yours.” Tracy bent his knees and propped his booted feet on the edge of the bed.

“Get your feet off the blankets.”

But Tracy wasn’t listening, too caught up in his own rant. “And then we went searching for carol lines but they all suck balls. Except that one about gay apparel was funny enough, yo.”

Erik shook his head and got up to stand over the DigiTech. “Van Buren.”

The idiot was still rambling on.

“Tracy.”

That failed to stop the rapid tumble of complaints either. Erik hooked his hands under Tracy’s ankles and gave a yank. The DigiTech’s softer ship-side boots hit the floor with a dull thump. “Tracy. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”

Honey colored eyes snapped to Erik’s face in surprise as if he hadn’t noticed until his feet had been moved that the MechTech was trying to speak as well. He probably hadn’t heard through his own chatter. His pretty pink lips stretched into a lazy smirk. “I thought you liked the noise.”

“Not the talking noise, dolt.” was the dry response. Erik pulled the offending boots off the DigiTech’s feet. If he didn’t do it, Tracy would forget and then the boots would just be a frustration later when they didn’t need to be. Brilliance came with a price and for Tracy it was his ability to accomplish common tasks.

Once the boots were safely off his feet, Erik was free to attack his guest without fear for his furniture. He climbed slowly onto the bed, keeping himself raised on his hands and knees above Tracy’s prone body. Tracy’s smirk changed minutely, becoming more predatory, hungry instead of just simply smug.

“But you like other noises, yeah?” Tracy wrapped his arms around the MechTech’s neck, his hands coming up to cup the back of Erik’s smooth head.

Erik let himself be pulled down until chocolate scented breaths were puffing against his lips. No wonder the DigiTech was bored already. With his toys all gone and a fresh infusion of sugar in his system, Erik was just surprised the blond wasn’t climbing the walls.

“Yes. I like other noises.” He ran the tip of his nose along Tracy’s jaw line, from chin to ear, with a grin. There was a slight tremble in the hands on Erik’s scalp. “I also like what you did to the bridge. The Captain did too. He especially liked how you put the fruitcake on Commander Wescott’s chair.” A breath into the shell of Tracy’s ear had the DigiTech shivering uncontrollably. Ears were Tracy’s weakness and he gave some of his best reactions when attention was given to them.

“Yeah?” the DigiTech hissed. Slim hips arched until their bodies were pressed together, a solid line of heat from collarbone to groin. Tracy’s breathing was harsh in his own ear and voice seductively low. “Mm. I figured someone would appreciate my genius.”

Grunting, Erik lowered himself to his elbows, sliding his legs out until they were tangled with Tracy’s and his body pinned the DigiTech’s to the bed. “I don’t know about genius but I appreciated the effort on my part.”

Golden brown eyes looked up at him through heavy lids when he raised his head from Tracy’s ear. “Best July Christmas gift ever?”

“Um. No. That would have to go to the puppy my parents got me as a kid but you get honorable mention.” He nipped at Tracy’s jawline, leaving a trail of wet bite marks along the skin.

Tracy ran his fingertips over the MechTech’s scalp, his touch light enough to raise goose bumps and bring on a full body shiver. His amusement flared through his desire like the sun from behind a cloud. “That’s like the time I made my mom a cake for her birthday and she said I got notional points for effort even though everyone got diarrhea afterwards. Although, she hasn’t said ‘It’s the thought that counts’ since that day.”

Erik snorted and returned his attention to Tracy’s ear. “It was definitely the most creative July Christmas I’ve ever had.”

“I think…” Tracy trailed off at a light tug to his earlobe. He hummed in pleasure and pushed on, “I think you owe me. All that effort I went though.”

“Tracy.”

“Yes?” His fingers didn’t pause in tracing invisible patterns over Erik’s scalp.

“You booby trap my quarters nearly every day with dolls.”

“My babies are not dolls.” The voice coming from the throat Erik was trailing kisses down managed to sound indignant even despite its breathlessness. “They’re action figures.”

“You’ve reprogrammed my datpad to give me tips every time I turn it on. Just this morning, it gave me a message on ‘six ideas for a better sex life.’”

Tracy growled when the MechTech stopped his ministrations to make his point. The hands on Erik’s head became more insistent, massaging instead of simply tracing patterns. “Unsubtle hinting, yo.”

Erik couldn’t help but snort in response. He was frustrated by his partner’s behavior but vastly amused all the same. It had always been so with the younger Tech. “And about that.” He pulled back, meeting the displeasure in Tracy’s gaze unflinchingly. “You come in here whenever you like and I do whatever you want. I don’t see where you’re getting this idea that you need better sex.”

“Well,” Tracy said, his light eyes sparking in warning of his rapidly vanishing patience, “you seem to be making my point right this moment. I don’t seem to be having the sex I want.” He tried to shift his body to emphasize his point but Erik’s greater weight kept him still.

Laughing softly over the exasperated look on his lover’s face, Erik dipped his head down to capture those pouting lips in a quick kiss. “Alright. If that’s the way you want it…”

“I do.”

“But I was going to make you dinner in payment for the holiday special you set up.”

Tracy’s gold-brown eyes went comically wide. His stomach was one of the few things that could command his attention span long enough to keep him out of trouble. It just so happened that Erik was a decent cook, enough that it had first brought the DigiTech sniffing to his door all that long time ago.

After a moment of serious thought on the matter, Tracy narrowed his eyes and frowned sternly at the MechTech. “Sex first, food later. And you owe me desert for the lizard man you crushed earlier.”

“Done.” Erik smirked and returned to marking that slender neck with small wet nips of his teeth. He’d already planned to include a tray of peanut butter fudge in his preparations. But there was no point in telling Tracy that if it got him out of trouble for breaking yet another figurine.

The End