Breaking him down
Sasuke had never forgiven him for killing Itachi.
Naruto sighed, trudging home after a long meeting with the Hokage. He had just gotten back from a weeklong mission, and now that he had reported in, he just wanted to go home and sleep.
But Sasuke was probably home, and he didn’t really want to see him yet. He wanted a break from the tension between the two of them. Even now, three years later, Sasuke still resented him for being the one to deal the killing blow, for being strong enough to defeat Itachi.
Thinking back, Naruto remembered the infamous day Sasuke became the last Uchiha. Sasuke had fought Itachi until the two of them were almost completely out of chakra. The area where they had been fighting was completely demolished, proof of their Herculean battle. But Itachi had enough chakra reserved for one last jutsu, and Sasuke had been unable to avoid it. He was knocked unconscious. It had been pure luck that Naruto had managed to arrive in time to keep Itachi from stealing Sasuke’s eyes, to keep Sasuke alive.
When Sasuke had come to, he had been so quiet at first, just staring at Itachi’s dead body in silence. Suddenly, he grabbed a kunai and started hacking at Itachi, plunging the kunai into his body again and again, screaming. Finally he had turned red Sharingan eyes to Naruto. He had been enraged, and in a blur of speed had come at Naruto, yelling at him for daring to kill Itachi. He hadn’t known what to do and could only stare at Sasuke in shock.
Kakashi and the rest of the team arrived then, and they managed to subdue Sasuke and take him and Itachi’s body to Konoha. He had been treated for his wounds, isolated from the rest of Team 7. It would be months before any of them would see him.
Tsunade and the Council had allowed Sasuke to stay in Konoha. The Elders did not want to lose the Sharingan. He was under watch by Anbu and wasn’t allowed to use chakra for two full years before finally they reinstated him as a shinobi. Even then, he was only allowed D missions. Now, three years later, they were finally going to lift this final ban and let him take his place in the ranks of Genin. Naruto snorted. Sasuke as a Genin was ridiculous, but he would be sure to jump up to Jounin quickly. He was a genius after all.
His amusement faded away quickly. While Sasuke’s professional life was finally getting better, their personal life had come to a standstill long ago.
The first time Naruto had seen Sasuke after he got out of the hospital, Sasuke had barely acknowledged him, walking past him with one cold glance. Naruto had hoped Sasuke had gotten over his anger that he had killed Itachi, but it was obviously not the case. Still, he was grateful Sasuke had at least not tried to kill him. He absently rubbed his chest. Even with taijutsu alone, Sasuke was a formidable opponent, and Naruto didn’t want to hurt him, especially since showing off his strength would only make things worse between the two of them.
It was a year before Sasuke would talk to him. Naruto had been his persistent self, and finally, finally Sasuke had begun to open up to him again. It was another year before they began dating.
Naruto felt tears begin to well up in his eyes, and he hurriedly wiped them away. He was just blocks from the Uchiha compound, and he refused to cry in front of Sasuke.
Sasuke would blow hot and cold with Naruto in that first year. One minute they would be insulting each other like they used to, and then the next minute, Sasuke would freeze up, walking away without a word. Eventually this began to happen less and less frequently, and by the time Naruto had confessed his more than friendly feelings, those instances had disappeared almost altogether.
Still, there would be times when Naruto would look at Sasuke, and he would be watching him, eyes calculating.
The night he had told Sasuke how he felt, Sasuke had once again gotten up and left without a word. But not before Naruto had seen a look of triumph on his face.
At the time, Naruto had thought he had imagined that look, had naively attributed that look to triumph that Naruto had revealed his feelings first. After all, Sasuke had responded the next day, had agreed to start dating him. But now, looking back, Naruto knew that look had been because Sasuke planned to use those feelings against him.
The first few months of their relationship had been great. Not perfect by any means, but they had fun together, laughed together (or chuckled darkly in Sasuke’s case), and he’d been so happy. After three months, Sasuke had told he might as well move in with him.
Everything changed after that. In the past six months, Sasuke had been slowly chipping away at Naruto, breaking him piece by piece. He criticized Naruto’s appearance, his eating habits, his weight, his training regime, his cleanliness, everything about him. They had started as offhand remarks, something to be ignored really, but when Sasuke had continued to make more and more comments, he had started doubting himself. It wasn’t in the teasing way they used to insult each other, out of rivalry and friendship. These comments were cutting, indicating how lowly Naruto was in comparison to him.
The only thing he hadn’t insulted was his lovemaking abilities, but even there, he wasn’t happy. Sasuke wouldn’t let Naruto top. The rare times they would have sex, Naruto would practically have to beg to get Sasuke in bed, and they were always fast, hard sessions that left Naruto unsatisfied (emotionally anyway) and craving more. And through it all, Naruto hadn’t fought back, because he loved Sasuke, and he felt guilty.
Naruto sighed again. Guilty for killing Itachi.
It was like Naruto was a stranger watching himself. On the one hand, he knew he shouldn’t take the abuse, wasn’t affected by the abuse. He watched, detached, as Sasuke’s comments made the other Naruto nervous, made him eat less, made him stop wearing orange and start wearing the clothes Sasuke bought for him instead. The other Naruto trained less, was starting to get pale and hardly seemed to talk or laugh at all. Who was that Naruto?
His friends had noticed the change in him. They didn’t know what to do. Sasuke never treated him unkindly in public, so they didn’t understand the sudden change in him. They worried he was getting sick. He had begun avoiding them, eager to escape the questions.
Sakura was the only one who seemed to suspect Sasuke. She told Naruto he should leave him. Ever since moving in with Sasuke, Naruto had been acting differently, and she said he deserved better. He couldn’t explain to her that he deserved everything Sasuke did to him. He had stolen Sasuke’s dream after all.
Guilt was a funny thing. If anyone else had said anything like the things Sasuke said to him, he would’ve laughed it off, maybe hit him. But whatever Sasuke said, he took to heart.
The watcher Naruto though didn’t care what Sasuke said, had stopped caring a long time ago. That Naruto just watched the first Naruto deteriorate and whispered, “He isn’t done yet.”
Naruto finally arrived at the Uchiha complex.
As he reached for the door knob to their house, he began to hear noises inside. Sasuke had company? Sasuke was an anti-social bastard – he hated company.
But the sounds he could hear weren’t conversation. In fact, they sounded like –
“Oh, oh, Sasuke!”
Naruto opened the door.
Watching the two of them move together, Naruto felt sick. His heart was beating so fast that it felt like it would explode in his chest. His eyes burned, and he wanted to throw up. Idly, he realized he was crushing the doorknob in his hand. He must have made some noise because they suddenly both looked at him. Sakura’s eyes became huge, and she jumped off Sasuke.
“N-Naruto! It’s not - it’s not what you think!” she exclaimed, picking up a throw blanket and hastily trying to cover her nakedness.
Sasuke didn’t say anything, just watched him with those cold assessing eyes, not even bothering to cover his naked groin, still wet from their activities. And Naruto knew, knew finally that Sasuke hated him. He didn’t care that Naruto had walked in on them. It’s not like they were trying to hide from him after all. How could he have missed them? They were sitting in the damn living room, right in front of the door. He had heard them from outside the fucking door!
He locked his knees in order to keep from falling. Sasuke had wanted him to see, had done this on purpose to hurt him. How many times had Sasuke cheated on him? Had Sasuke planned on Naruto walking in on him eventually? No wonder he never wanted to have sex, he thought wildly. Why would he when he was getting sex from other people?
Inside he screamed, overcome with the pain of knowing that his two most precious people had betrayed him. Why, why, WHY?
Was this why Sakura had told him to leave Sasuke? Because she wanted him for herself? Was this why she said he deserved more? Because she was sleeping with him? How could she do this to him? How could they do this to him?
He loved them. They were everything to him, his family, the reason he tried so hard to become stronger, two of the first people to ever acknowledge him. He couldn’t…they were…why Sasuke…don’t do this…please love me…I’m sorry I killed him…please love me…
With a small shiver, barely noticeable, he broke. The bonds he had treasured for so long, the bonds he had done everything to protect, snapped apart. And then there was nothing. Only the faint echoes of the screams in his head.
Naruto sighed, trudging home after a long meeting with the Hokage. He had just gotten back from a weeklong mission, and now that he had reported in, he just wanted to go home and sleep.
But Sasuke was probably home, and he didn’t really want to see him yet. He wanted a break from the tension between the two of them. Even now, three years later, Sasuke still resented him for being the one to deal the killing blow, for being strong enough to defeat Itachi.
Thinking back, Naruto remembered the infamous day Sasuke became the last Uchiha. Sasuke had fought Itachi until the two of them were almost completely out of chakra. The area where they had been fighting was completely demolished, proof of their Herculean battle. But Itachi had enough chakra reserved for one last jutsu, and Sasuke had been unable to avoid it. He was knocked unconscious. It had been pure luck that Naruto had managed to arrive in time to keep Itachi from stealing Sasuke’s eyes, to keep Sasuke alive.
When Sasuke had come to, he had been so quiet at first, just staring at Itachi’s dead body in silence. Suddenly, he grabbed a kunai and started hacking at Itachi, plunging the kunai into his body again and again, screaming. Finally he had turned red Sharingan eyes to Naruto. He had been enraged, and in a blur of speed had come at Naruto, yelling at him for daring to kill Itachi. He hadn’t known what to do and could only stare at Sasuke in shock.
Kakashi and the rest of the team arrived then, and they managed to subdue Sasuke and take him and Itachi’s body to Konoha. He had been treated for his wounds, isolated from the rest of Team 7. It would be months before any of them would see him.
Tsunade and the Council had allowed Sasuke to stay in Konoha. The Elders did not want to lose the Sharingan. He was under watch by Anbu and wasn’t allowed to use chakra for two full years before finally they reinstated him as a shinobi. Even then, he was only allowed D missions. Now, three years later, they were finally going to lift this final ban and let him take his place in the ranks of Genin. Naruto snorted. Sasuke as a Genin was ridiculous, but he would be sure to jump up to Jounin quickly. He was a genius after all.
His amusement faded away quickly. While Sasuke’s professional life was finally getting better, their personal life had come to a standstill long ago.
The first time Naruto had seen Sasuke after he got out of the hospital, Sasuke had barely acknowledged him, walking past him with one cold glance. Naruto had hoped Sasuke had gotten over his anger that he had killed Itachi, but it was obviously not the case. Still, he was grateful Sasuke had at least not tried to kill him. He absently rubbed his chest. Even with taijutsu alone, Sasuke was a formidable opponent, and Naruto didn’t want to hurt him, especially since showing off his strength would only make things worse between the two of them.
It was a year before Sasuke would talk to him. Naruto had been his persistent self, and finally, finally Sasuke had begun to open up to him again. It was another year before they began dating.
Naruto felt tears begin to well up in his eyes, and he hurriedly wiped them away. He was just blocks from the Uchiha compound, and he refused to cry in front of Sasuke.
Sasuke would blow hot and cold with Naruto in that first year. One minute they would be insulting each other like they used to, and then the next minute, Sasuke would freeze up, walking away without a word. Eventually this began to happen less and less frequently, and by the time Naruto had confessed his more than friendly feelings, those instances had disappeared almost altogether.
Still, there would be times when Naruto would look at Sasuke, and he would be watching him, eyes calculating.
The night he had told Sasuke how he felt, Sasuke had once again gotten up and left without a word. But not before Naruto had seen a look of triumph on his face.
At the time, Naruto had thought he had imagined that look, had naively attributed that look to triumph that Naruto had revealed his feelings first. After all, Sasuke had responded the next day, had agreed to start dating him. But now, looking back, Naruto knew that look had been because Sasuke planned to use those feelings against him.
The first few months of their relationship had been great. Not perfect by any means, but they had fun together, laughed together (or chuckled darkly in Sasuke’s case), and he’d been so happy. After three months, Sasuke had told he might as well move in with him.
Everything changed after that. In the past six months, Sasuke had been slowly chipping away at Naruto, breaking him piece by piece. He criticized Naruto’s appearance, his eating habits, his weight, his training regime, his cleanliness, everything about him. They had started as offhand remarks, something to be ignored really, but when Sasuke had continued to make more and more comments, he had started doubting himself. It wasn’t in the teasing way they used to insult each other, out of rivalry and friendship. These comments were cutting, indicating how lowly Naruto was in comparison to him.
The only thing he hadn’t insulted was his lovemaking abilities, but even there, he wasn’t happy. Sasuke wouldn’t let Naruto top. The rare times they would have sex, Naruto would practically have to beg to get Sasuke in bed, and they were always fast, hard sessions that left Naruto unsatisfied (emotionally anyway) and craving more. And through it all, Naruto hadn’t fought back, because he loved Sasuke, and he felt guilty.
Naruto sighed again. Guilty for killing Itachi.
It was like Naruto was a stranger watching himself. On the one hand, he knew he shouldn’t take the abuse, wasn’t affected by the abuse. He watched, detached, as Sasuke’s comments made the other Naruto nervous, made him eat less, made him stop wearing orange and start wearing the clothes Sasuke bought for him instead. The other Naruto trained less, was starting to get pale and hardly seemed to talk or laugh at all. Who was that Naruto?
His friends had noticed the change in him. They didn’t know what to do. Sasuke never treated him unkindly in public, so they didn’t understand the sudden change in him. They worried he was getting sick. He had begun avoiding them, eager to escape the questions.
Sakura was the only one who seemed to suspect Sasuke. She told Naruto he should leave him. Ever since moving in with Sasuke, Naruto had been acting differently, and she said he deserved better. He couldn’t explain to her that he deserved everything Sasuke did to him. He had stolen Sasuke’s dream after all.
Guilt was a funny thing. If anyone else had said anything like the things Sasuke said to him, he would’ve laughed it off, maybe hit him. But whatever Sasuke said, he took to heart.
The watcher Naruto though didn’t care what Sasuke said, had stopped caring a long time ago. That Naruto just watched the first Naruto deteriorate and whispered, “He isn’t done yet.”
Naruto finally arrived at the Uchiha complex.
As he reached for the door knob to their house, he began to hear noises inside. Sasuke had company? Sasuke was an anti-social bastard – he hated company.
But the sounds he could hear weren’t conversation. In fact, they sounded like –
“Oh, oh, Sasuke!”
Naruto opened the door.
Watching the two of them move together, Naruto felt sick. His heart was beating so fast that it felt like it would explode in his chest. His eyes burned, and he wanted to throw up. Idly, he realized he was crushing the doorknob in his hand. He must have made some noise because they suddenly both looked at him. Sakura’s eyes became huge, and she jumped off Sasuke.
“N-Naruto! It’s not - it’s not what you think!” she exclaimed, picking up a throw blanket and hastily trying to cover her nakedness.
Sasuke didn’t say anything, just watched him with those cold assessing eyes, not even bothering to cover his naked groin, still wet from their activities. And Naruto knew, knew finally that Sasuke hated him. He didn’t care that Naruto had walked in on them. It’s not like they were trying to hide from him after all. How could he have missed them? They were sitting in the damn living room, right in front of the door. He had heard them from outside the fucking door!
He locked his knees in order to keep from falling. Sasuke had wanted him to see, had done this on purpose to hurt him. How many times had Sasuke cheated on him? Had Sasuke planned on Naruto walking in on him eventually? No wonder he never wanted to have sex, he thought wildly. Why would he when he was getting sex from other people?
Inside he screamed, overcome with the pain of knowing that his two most precious people had betrayed him. Why, why, WHY?
Was this why Sakura had told him to leave Sasuke? Because she wanted him for herself? Was this why she said he deserved more? Because she was sleeping with him? How could she do this to him? How could they do this to him?
He loved them. They were everything to him, his family, the reason he tried so hard to become stronger, two of the first people to ever acknowledge him. He couldn’t…they were…why Sasuke…don’t do this…please love me…I’m sorry I killed him…please love me…
With a small shiver, barely noticeable, he broke. The bonds he had treasured for so long, the bonds he had done everything to protect, snapped apart. And then there was nothing. Only the faint echoes of the screams in his head.
