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Ochiba.Net » Writing » Reviews » The Föhn in my Mind

[chapter 8]

This is very nicely paced, it's really rattling along at an adrenalised rate and I like that! I'm still in love with Jack though I cringed at what he said to the mute woman. Ouch.

 

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[chapter 1]

*whew*
So, I've finally had enough free time to begin reading these. I love your descriptions a lot. Sometimes, I enjoy descriptions more than dialogue; I just like *being* in the story and seeing things. I could see the plains and the wind...it kind of reminded me of John Steinbeck and Christopher Rice mixed together XD. I dunno, I just like lengthy description. It's relaxing, but the obvious danger of the winds was evident.

And I love your Jack :D. So cynical, but not enough to be really annoying, you know? You want to listen to him.

Hopefully I'll have time to continue this another day, but I enjoyed what I read.

 

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[chapter 7]

Eeeek...the hottness! The HOTTNESS!

*Fans face frantically*

Another great chapter as I've come to expect from you and sooooooo sexy that I nearly spontaneously combusted. I am enjoying this so much and I am happiness itself whenever I see an update.

 

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[chapter 6]

FANTASTIC cliff hanger! FANTASTIC EVERYTHING! God, I am ever more unfeasibly excited about this series. I adore the wit, the distinctive voice that you have, your syntax and the dialogue with the reader.

I am LOVE.

 

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[chapter 4]

Another chapter that I really enjoyed! I do love Jack's tone and his throughts. He is so well drawn and so complex and contradictory and yet believable; he hangs together. Lovely.

You should get a beta though, there are a few typos. I'm not put off by that sort of thing but some people are and people OUGHT to read this! I would offer myself but I am writing three multichaps at the moment and working full time and trying to learn Japanese so I feel like I'm going to die! icon

 

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[general comment]

I am intrigued and fascinated by this and really, really excited. It's original and beautifully characterised and I love the stream of concsiousness style and the dialogue with the reader. It's wonderfully sarcastic and surprising and I love Jack. Seriously, this has been added to my (short) list of really interesting original work that I've read online. More please!

 

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